Life.... It Goes On !!

Moments... When the face smiles And hides that clot in the throat Moments When the eyes flinch shut, And avoid feeling the stomach knot Moments When the urge is to escape all boundaries  Yet feet stay frozen in the spot Moments When the feelings are deep  But words are a few  When the memories don’t sleep And keep me with you It’s then that I realise  how I have loved and lived Waiting and watching Each moment just pass through To live but not to feel As feeling is all I have lost with you

And now that the trip is over it is time to reminisce the good, the bad, the beautiful somewhere. That somewhere is this page that has been dormant for 10 looooong years. I look back at these most beautiful 17 days of my life - why beautiful ? Because those were the most relaxing days when I was confronted by some fears that I decided to shrug off happily. When I prepared for nothing and allowed so much to come to me in form of experiences, which btw were all good. I fell sick but that could not deter the resolve to smile and live to the fullest. What has remained is loads of memories of beauty, laughter and experiences. One thing that still throngs my mind is whether it would be a good idea to repeat this trip in winters when the city will be decked up like a bride for Christmas? Would I enjoy it more then or would cuddle in my blanket seeking warmth? How would it be? This article and more to share the sweet little Details of what happened and how ...

kyon karni hai khwahish kisi ka naam le kar jo khud pe hain yakin to chalo khud ko akela kar! khwahish jo kisi aur ke balboote pe bani ho, toot jaye woh to kyon aankhon mein nami ho? Raah mein milne wale to musafir hain, Kuch pal humsafar ban jaate hain, Jo badalti hain manzilein to, Raah mein akela chod jaate hain. Raahgiron ko apni manzil na batao, jo bani hai kuch yaadein, ho sake to unhe bhool jao!! yaadein jo banti hain sahara kisi ka pa kar toot-ta hai sahara to nikalti hain aankhon se beh kar to rakhna hai kyon khud ko mohtaaj kisi ka bana kar karni hai bandagi kisi ki to sirf bharosa karo khud par! tab bhi bikhrengi khwahishein, aur tootenge armaan, jo dekhoge peeche to milenge apne hi kadmon ke nishan! bharosa jo tum ko fir se dilayenge, kisi toote dil ki daastan na fir se douhrayenge! bharosa tootega nai, khud pe mazboot hoga khwahishon ke tootne pe hi, nai khwaishon ke janam ka josh hoga ! This is in repsonse to DreamCatcher's comment to previous post :-)

ekant mein ho sirf 'aks' ka saath na uljhan, na vifalta sirf khushi ki ho baat ! tanhayee mein sirf baat apni chale, na ho koi apna jiski dil ummeed kare ! vichalit na kare jab sannaatte ka shor andhere ka na ho darr roshni kheenche nai apni aur !! na rosh ho kisi ka na uljhan ka ho aalam, na mile hum kisi se bhoolein saare ghum, hum !! na yaad sataye kisi ki saath muskuraane ko na ho humdum, hum soche na kisi ko na soch mein kisi ki ho hum !! jab beet jaaye manzar, jab bhool jayein yaadein to jiyein zindagi ko jyon, hua ho naya janam !!

ऊँचे आसमान में घने बादलों के बीच, उड़ी चल जाती कहीं सोचती हूँ अखियाँ मींच! 'क्यों' उड़ता है मन भरे बादलों के जैसे, सच्चाई-नुमा पहाड़ी से टकरा 'क्यों' बेहता है पानी फिर आँखों से? 'क्यों' कोई ख्वाब आँखों में आता है आख़िर कैसे कोई चेहरा दिल में समाता है ? फिर 'क्यों' नम्म होती हैं किसी की याद में आँखें, दिल बार बार रो कर 'क्यों' ज़ार ज़ार हो जाता है ? चाहतों के दाएरे में बाँध कर 'क्यों' इंसान समझ अपनी खोता है वास्तविकता समझ कर भी 'क्यों' परिस्तित्यों के हाथों मजबूर होता है ? फिर भी, दर्द से झूझ कर दर्द से ही शक्ति पा, 'क्यों', दर्द भारी यादें संजोता है दर्द से ही रिश्ता बनाता है

oonche aasmaan mein ghane badlon ke beech, udi chal jati kahin sochti hun akhiyan meench! 'kyon' udta hai man bhare badlon ke jaise, sachayi-numa pahadi se takra 'kyon' behta hai pani fir aankhon se? 'kyon' koi khwab aankhon mein aata hai, aakhir kaise koi chehra dil mein samata hai ? fir 'kyon' nam hoti hain kisi ki yaad mein aankhein, dil baar baar ro kar 'kyon' zaar zaar hota hai ? chahton ke dayere mein bandh kar 'kyon' insaan samajh apni khota hai, vastavikta samajh kar bhi 'kyon' paristhityon ke haathon majboor hota hai ? dard se jhoojh kar dard se hi shakti pa, fir bhi 'kyon', dard bhari yaadein sanjota hai? dard se hi rishta banata hai?

I am old and I am free, wondering little, how I get this liberty ! I enjoy freedom and the bliss of life, not knowing enough, how you strive! Still I complain, regret and fret, for what I have not got, and what I should get! I learn to move on never looking back little or not concerned, How I will pay thy debts ! Debts what I said is Duty for you, But selfish as I am who can’t even smile back at you ! For the countless sacrifices you continue to make, I had not dared to put it in words and try to elaborate ! For all that you do Is beyond my comprehension, The selfless spirit sacrificing life without apprehension! The real feeling of brotherhood and team spirit you have, For us in this free world is mere tableau to have! In toughest moments you continue to fight, That ‘unseen enemy’ unannounced, as he strikes! The challenges of ‘Mother Nature’ continue to inspire, However valiant be the effort, but you are seldom admired! Till a day comes when you lay your life, In protecting your mothe...

क्यों पास आ कर भी थी इतनी दूरी, क्यों दूर रेह कर नई लगती कोई मजबूरी. मिलने को, करने को है इतनी बातें क्यों मिल नई पाए हम क्यों हैं अब मुझ को शिकायतें! बातें शब्दों में जो लिख पाती हूँ होठों से जाने क्यों कह नही पाती हूँ दूरियों में मिलता इक अजीब सुकून हैं मगर इंतेज़ार ख़तम करने का भी इक जुनून है ना ख़तम होने वाला ये सिलसिला है मुझे ज़िंदगी पैर फिर भी भरोसा है मिलना है फिर तुम से इक दिन मुझ को, मगर नया इंतज़ार अभी करना है मुझ को... दौर-ए-इंतेज़ार शायद कभी ख़तम नई होगा, मिल कर तुम से फिर एक बार बिछड़ना होगा. हँसती हूँ मुस्कुराती हूँ जब ये सोचती हूँ इस दौर के भी गुज़र जाने का 'इंतेज़ार' किए जाती हूँ ...... **************************** kyon paas aa kar bhi thi itni duuri, kyon dur reh kar nai lagti koi majboori. milne ko, karne ko hai itni baatein kyon mil nai paye hum, kyon hain ab mujh ko shikayatein. baatein shabdon mein jo likh pati hun, hothon se jane kyon keh nahi pati hun. duriyon mein milta ik ajeeb sukoon hain, magar intezaar khattam karne ka bhi ik junoon hai. na khatta...

vichlit mann uttejit armaan, kayi dishayein magar rasta, na koi darmiyan! soch hai bekabu ajeeb sa hai ye jadoo, kehne ko hai bahut magar alfaaz, koi kaise doo? kabhi pal mein tha jamghat kabhi pal mein tanhayee, kahin thi pal mein khushiyan aur kahin achanak aankh bhar aayi ! dosti ka ya shayad doston se milan ka tha jadoo, akele jo hue hain to khoya hai khud pe hi kaboo! bharosa tha khud pe jo hai abhi dagmagaya akele mein jo aks ne chehra aks ko dikhaya! kyon umadti hai aas ki ho koi paas, kyon hota hai abhaas tanhayion ka khaas? kyon bikharte hain ehsaas magar fir se jagta hai vishwas na ho jo koi, to bhi jeetna hai mujh ko, mujhi se, fir se aaj !

Jin bhavo ko tumne Apni panktiyon mein kaha hai, Un bhavo ko maine kayi baar jiya hai ! who lamha jo tum ne jiya hai, un khushi ke palon ko dil mein kayam maine kiya hai ! tumhare sawalon mein dam hai magar shayad meri soch pe bharosa tumhein kam hai! Jati hun jahan pati hun wahan Wahi khushi wahi waadiyaan. Dil jhoomta hai jis mein Tanha ho kar bhi sab se, Un waadiyon ke beech Mit jaati hain tanhaiyaan! Us hariyaali ke beech Paton par padi os mein Bas hoti hai arzoo ki lapetoon Poora aakaash apne aagosh mein. Ik took dekhti hun Kabhi kshitij ke pare tak ki waadiyan Kabhi ho jati hun madhosh dekh kar Na khattam hone wala raat ka wo aasmaan Kahin lagta hai choo kar aaoon Oonche oothte wo pahad, Kabhi lagta hai jaaoon Us bhavya saagar ke paar. Kabhi udti hun badlon mein To machalta hai mann Kabhi sunti hun koi kilkari To khil utha hain mann. Kabhi koi kaato (squirrel) Mujhe hansati hai Nanhe pairon se daba kar Jab mungfali wo khati hai Kisi koyal ka kookna Kisi bache ka chehkna Kisi kab...

A screeching sound, as if Something’s broken Loads of silence, but The peace is stolen. Moments, full of love And friendship that I cherish. Loneliness engulfs and My faith is blemished. Cant help the tears Flow down my cheeks, Reminiscence of past As my mind speaks. I wonder if something’s really amiss Or just that I fail to feel the bliss. Even at home my heart’s away, Wonder where it is gone or if Someone’s taken it away. Have been waiting for long To find the place where I belong, Have been wandering a lot To find that right spot. One moment makes me feel I have grown smart, The next comes shattering and Tears the faith apart. Sadly, but again its just another phase I am undergoing a transition phase. Life will have new avenues But till I meet them,I will suffer the blues.

Today I wish 'again' to sit alone, and ponder over the questions you have thrown. I love to listen and I have heard, but there are questions 'Unanswered'. Quest has followed from the soul, I try answering , but end up creating a bigger 'hole'. You have suggested, and countered but there is so much, that I have not deciphered. There are questions so big in size, I simply wonder, how to take these all in my stride. I try to answer some but the chain follows, the whirlpool of thoughts again swallows. I love to hear 'again' and appreciate the smile... but now I wonder how hollow is my pride. So much so, that now I sit alone I wonder if I am good enough to answer your question on my own. Way you see life and self contemplate, My words for you, I feel is a waste. You know so much by virtue of how you have lived I wonder what answers can I give. You have lived and loved thoroughly countered the toughest moments bravely. You have the will, You will have your way...

Woh hansta chehra, Nanhi si woh chhavi Chhotte chhotte kadam Kaise dekhun main abhi. Dur tujh se khud ko Kiya maine hai khud, Sach hai magar Tu yaad aati hai bahut. Aaj bhi jab udaasi hai aati Teri ek tasveer mujhe hai hansati Yaad karte hi tujhe ruh hai khil jati, Kaise kahun kitni teri yaad hai satati. Teri ek kilkari, Woh masti mein ghumana, Badi ho gayi hogi Magar mujhe yaad hai woh zamana. Kaash ki ek pal fir se Tujhe mil paaoon, Dur chahe hai jitna Tujhe palkon pe baithaoon. Hansun tere sang Karun shararat madmati, Kaash ki who guzre pal Main waapis lauta pati…..

Two years or may be more !! They say time flies and I look back to find indeed it has flown so fast. Its just two years when I was part of this city. Time when I was completely settled here. When word Kormangala seemed like my home just like it does to any IT personnel who does not belong to this city (because most North Indians tend to live here or at BTM ... and I still do not know the full form of BTM). Time when longingness for Delhi was so profound that seeing a vehicle bearing Delhi or Chandigarh number would make me happy. When going on long-long walks with friends in the middle of night or may be wee hours of morning on ring road or vast stretch of Marathahalli was routine affair. Planning a weekend to outskirts of Bangalore was an activity much yearned for that made me look forward to completion of weekdays.There was something that took me away from this part of the world to Chennai, to US and back to Chandigarh to Noida and then finally to Pune. Going home after an onsite tr...

Here is the article I take as if it is written for me. This has all expressions about my tendencies, some answers which I give to others who never happen to understand why I am talking what I wam talking. Aptly said, "I want to break free". This is true that even if I am in company of one or many I tend to go quiet, all by myself enjoying the beauty of place I am visiting. Does it sound selfish? Yes, I think I turn selfish when I want to laud the beauty of my surroundingd and please me with my own thoughts with what I am witnessing... yes, a philosphical nut that even I am. This is yet another piece of writting which I appreciate to the core. I mention the mantras here but all who are interested in reading the entire article can check the link : http://specials.rediff.com/getahead/2005/aug/24sld.htm My vacation, my rules! The most common reason for a lot of solo travellers is that it can be very liberating -- right from the initial planning process to the actual trip, logisti...

Its been two years ever since I completed my basic course of 'Art of Living'. There are vivid memories of what we did as a group and individually. There were lessons taught, lessons learnt, many argumentative discussions, much I could not take down my throat that easily and of course some refreshing breathing exercises, that this course is so much known for. Even thought two years have lapsed there is one question that was asked on Day 1 of this course which still throngs my mind repeatedly. 'Who am I ?'. Having come from an engineering college where one takes umpteen interviews for joining umpteen clubs in the first year, where preparing for campus placements is like a religious activity in 3rd year answering this question becomes a religious activity for one and all. Its more like a tact which everyone tries to play around with to impress the jury, the seniors, the elders. There are hoards of learning institutes offering trainings on how to crack the interviews no ma...

Check out the attached blog article.. The photographs are amazing.... but the sight of sand like beach on the water is more perplexing... how can that happen ..... It indeed sounds so weird but its true ... The hoaxslayer newsletter article in January 07 edition on "Floating Volcanic Stones and New Island in the South Pacific" validates that it is indeed true http://yacht-maiken.blogspot.com/2006/08/stone-sea-and-volcano.html Least to say the photographs are absolutely amazing on the blog.. and thats what made me stop and check the details to that depth :)

Guess this is the most confusing time. There is so much to do but I do not understand what to pursue. There are numerous paths to follow but no single direction defined. I am absolutely comfortable in this new zone but unending confusion prevails owing to uncertainty. With no specific direction on deliverables and expectations its hard to follow the heart. Mind is wavering like never before. Competition is there on the determined mind but fear to lose surfaces repeatedly. Need someone who can hear the cries of this soul but not underestimate the determination; someone who is willing to understand the zeal beneath the debris of shattered heart. Someone who can just sit and listen... not care but assure that he / she is around and will always be !! Need a friend... to say the least !!

akele koi geet naya gungunati hun kabhi akele hi khud pe muskurati hun, chali jaati hun apni dhun mein raasta naya apna banati hun, dost milte hain raahon par kayi dosti apni main nibhati hun,... magar fir bhi akele hun, akele hi aage jana chahti hun.... aaj kiya hai khud ko akela aaj fir se aage chale jaati hun peeche na lautne ka apna swapna aaj fir se main khud ko dohrati hun.... akele gungunati hun kabhi akele khud pe hi muskurati hun ginti hun timtimate woh taare jaane kis ginti pe pahunchna chahti hun. rasta nahi maloom tha kabhi aage main fir bhi chale jati hun, kabhi darti hun, kabhi seham jati hun to fir kabhi khud pe hi muskurati hun. muskurati hun un lamhon par jo kabhi hansa gaye, kabhi rula gaye magar dekhti hun peeche to khud ko khush numa main pati hun... kabhi sochti hun itna ki koi kavita main keh jati hun, aage jana hai mera dhyaye.. main aage chali jati hun !! OK !! Its 4 years and I have decided to quit !! I have quit... NO, I am not running away and I am not abscon...

My idea of appending someone's thoughts on my blog is to remind 'Me' in future how selfish we get for achieving / acquiring what we want. How easily we forget those unselfish warriors / defence personnel who actually do not think twice when it comes to sacrificing life for motherland. Many / mostly would argue here (as this has happened to me in past with an IIM C student) that life in Defence is yet another lucrative job option and that may be true but still how many of us really wanna live it that way; indeed not many. Easier said than done but not many of us are really willing to live an unselfish life.... we all want to live a life of luxuries, no doubt we work hard for that, but not many think for others before oneself..... We make mistake whose penalty is paid by others. We go on strikes to demand our claims or raise voice against injustice but remain mum when the injustice is done to someone who does not belong to us or we feel that way.... Again, this is LIFE.... an...