Who am I ?

Its been two years ever since I completed my basic course of 'Art of Living'. There are vivid memories of what we did as a group and individually. There were lessons taught, lessons learnt, many argumentative discussions, much I could not take down my throat that easily and of course some refreshing breathing exercises, that this course is so much known for. Even thought two years have lapsed there is one question that was asked on Day 1 of this course which still throngs my mind repeatedly. 'Who am I ?'.

Having come from an engineering college where one takes umpteen interviews for joining umpteen clubs in the first year, where preparing for campus placements is like a religious activity in 3rd year answering this question becomes a religious activity for one and all. Its more like a tact which everyone tries to play around with to impress the jury, the seniors, the elders. There are hoards of learning institutes offering trainings on how to crack the interviews no matter whether its for admission to MBA, IAS or just any company placement.

As such this is no new question to me or to anyone. After all, we grow up introducing ourselves. We grow up calling our self by the name given to us by our parents. We introduce ourselves wrt to our school and the standard; college, the branch and year of degree and then finally with the designation and the company we work for. No doubt its the call of the moment and we have to respect it but I wonder how many of us can actually identify with our own self.

This question came back to me this morning from an advertisement which read

"Your company represent what you are,
Your home represent who you are".

Quite a statement I must say !! Does whatever is there on my mind necessarily have to be displayed to reflect who I am? Is it how it really is ? No doubt display is a reflection of my thoughtful ideas of how I want to or how I live my life. But I certainly do not change my home and its interiors that frequently as much I evolve as a person with new thoughts and ideas to improvise upon who I currently am and who I want to be.

I looked back just two years and thought how I answered this question then and what I am today. I am no longer confused in my approach to answer this question but I still look for an answer which justifies me more than others. I look for an answer which impress me more than it impress others. I still feel that I need to find that connect within me which I can go back to whenever I feel by being on my side; when there is no confusion, when there is no insecurity, when there is no expectation. I look for those words which identify me than being mere adjectives. I want to identify myself in actions than words. I want to live away from the definitions which eludes from the real self of mine for the sake of impressing upon others.

Answering 'Who am I' is an eternal quest which continues to live with me with a hope that I will live the answer throughout my life than find it and junk it for good !!